Forest Gump update

Just adding to the list:

16. Paramedic for 10 years

17. Implemented sensitive nature technology to scramble the long-range technology used by those who would use them against us.

18. Knew and suggested he mentored “Captain Crunch” aka John Draper – the first phone freaker.

I’m sure there’s more to come.

T1 speed, Phantom Citrix, WOODSTOCK, CIA, JFK, and FOREST GUMP?

So I recently started a new assignment. The work is no fun or challenge. But there is a bright spot. There's a fellow contractor there (not from my company) that has made it interesting. Each day, I sit in wonder of what he will say he did in the past. I really think he one of the following:

A: One of the most incredible people that ever lived.

With a life that parallels that of the fictional Forest Gump.
OR
B: He must have moved out of his mom's basement about 2 years ago and he has watched a lot of movies and read a lot of books about stuff. He has lived vicariously through these fantastic tales of danger, knowledge, wealth, and brushes with fame. He also believes these experiences have happened to him and is able and willing to share them.
OR

C: He is total BS and does this to see how far he can push it.

Quite frankly, it's hard to tell, but it's like watching a car wreck. How far will he go?

So I have decided to make a list.

A list of all the incredible feats and accomplishments that, well let's just call him "FOREST" has accomplished:

1. Served in the AIR FORCE for 10 years and the DOD for 10 years.

2. Worked with "some very interesting people" in the highland jungles of Cambodia in the late 60's-early 70's.

3. Has a fractional T1 at home that he uses for "interesting experiments"

4. Attended Woodstock.

5. Shook the hand of JFK.

6. Did work at "a very peculiar 5-sided building back East" (the Pentagon)

7. Grew up in New York City, just like me. Followed the same day by #8.

8. Hates big cities. Followed later still the same day by #9.

9. "I'm a country boy"

10. Martial Artist.

11. World Traveler.

12. I gave my son a house and he owns two others and 2 new cars and a motorcycle. PAID IN CASH.

13. "My son is one of the top 3 Citrix instructors in the country" –Once I got his name, a google search turned up 0 results. Same with all the search engines. Searched the last name and the term "Citrix", ZERO RESULTS. Could his son be that good that he can hide from all the major search engines in the world? PHANTOM CITRIX MAYBE?

14. World Class Downhill Skier. Worked Ski Patrol half his life. I'm not sure what this is, I'm not a skier. Also Tried out for Olympics in late 60's. (He's all over the place in those years, wow.)

15. Accomplished Pilot. I'm sure there more stories to come on this one.

So, what do you think? I know it seems a little trivial, maybe mean. This is all just so incredible and I've only been at this place about a week. I mean each day, on an individual basis, one might not see the grand pattern formed by the accumulation of these claims. Anyway, I will be updating this list when I have enough new tales to make it interesting. It's kinda made things interesting.

My crappy cell -Tales of the Motorola MPx-220

I'm struggling with my crappy Motorola MPx-220. This glorious phone was apparently pulled off the shelf at one point by the Cingular dealers in my area at least. I had the misfortune of walking in and picking one up after it was "fixed". I only found out about the problems they had with the phone from the internet after I bought it and started having problems with it. So basically the thing just won't answer calls.

Probably half the time someone calls, I click answer and the phone says "Could not answer call". Then the caller leaves a message, I have to call and hear the message and call that person back. That's 3 phone calls. Cingular has been no help so far.

I'm getting riled just thinking about it. Think I'll be making some calls again to get this thing replaced. There's more, I'll type up some of the other crappy features of this baby

  HAVE YOU SEEN ME?  I AM THE MOTOROLA MPX-220!  THE "M" is for MEDIOCRE!  THE "P" means it could possibly work when you answer it!